Dreamjob: PROFESSIONAL Bridesmaid

In the movie “Bridesmaids,” which character did you best think described you? Go ahead, admit it – are you Annie (Kristen Wiig), Lillian (Maya Rudolph), Rita (Wendy McLendon-Covey), Helen (Rose Byrne), Megan (Melissa McCarthy) or none of them? Perhaps you’re ‘your own‘ character & would fit PERFECTLY into ANY wedding! If that is the case; then do I have a job for you!


Now, I know what you’re thinking: why would anyone actually hire a stranger to serve as a part of their wedding party? According to the Craigslist ad, here are three specific cases in which you could benefit from the services of a “professional bridesmaid”: [TheFrisky]

  •         You don’t have any other girlfriends except your third cousin, twice removed, who is often found sticking her tongue down an empty bottle of red wine.
  •         Your fiancé has an extra groomsmen and you’re looking to even things out so your pictures don’t look funny and there’s not one single guy walking down the aisle by himself
  •         You need someone to take control and make sure bridesmaid #4 buys her dress on time and doesn’t show up three hours late the day of the wedding or paint her nails lime green.

According to her ad, the 26-year-old professional bridesmaid has many skills she’s “exceptionally good at” that prove her worth as a member of your closest tribe of gal pals, including but not limited to:

  •         Holding up the 18 layers of your dress so that you can pee with ease on your wedding day
  •         Catching the bouquet and then following that moment up with my best Miss America-like “Omg, I can’t believe this” speech
  •         Doing the electric and the cha-cha slide
  •         Responding in a timely manner to pre-wedding email chains created by other bridesmaids and the Maid of Honor

So go ahead & make some extra cash this summer by being THE BEST PROFESSIONAL BRIDESMAID EVER!

In another not-very-surprising trend to recently develop… apparently Bridesmaids showing their underwear is getting popular. Who knew? [Bustle]


About justin

Justin grew up a country boy in a female-dominated family that smoothed him into the softie he is today. A Seattle radio personality since 2007, he's perfected the art of never taking himself seriously and isn't afraid to cry at movies. Find him riding a scooter (nicknamed "Ivy" after Blue Ivy Carter) through the mean streets of Queen Anne in Seattle or twitter-stalking the Seattle Mariners!