WHY you Always Choose the SLOWEST LINE at the Grocery Store

  • Here’s scientific proof on why you always choose the SLOWEST LINE at the grocery store.  Wow, and all this time I thought it was just because God hated me.
  • A St. Louis man ROBBED his girlfriend’s bank in order to get money for an engagement ring.  First wanting to get engaged and then receiving jail time . . . this guy REALLY hates his freedom doesn’t he?
  • A company in Chicago limits their staff to six minutes in the BATHROOM per day.  That’s ridiculous . . . without the bathroom stall, how would I ever take a nap at work?
  • A guy mortgaged his house to pay for a penis enlargement SURGERY.  Similarly I mortgaged mine to pay for a REDUCTION.  Ladies?  Anybody?
  • A new study says that overweight people are less likely to die from HEART ATTACKS.  Well of course; being thin and having hella sex can really be a stresser on the ole’ ticker.  Right?  No?  Okay, screw you.
(Image Courtesy: Patrick Hoesly. Creative Commons)