- Here’s scientific proof on why you always choose the SLOWEST LINE at the grocery store. Wow, and all this time I thought it was just because God hated me.
- A St. Louis man ROBBED his girlfriend’s bank in order to get money for an engagement ring. First wanting to get engaged and then receiving jail time . . . this guy REALLY hates his freedom doesn’t he?
- A company in Chicago limits their staff to six minutes in the BATHROOM per day. That’s ridiculous . . . without the bathroom stall, how would I ever take a nap at work?
- A guy mortgaged his house to pay for a penis enlargement SURGERY. Similarly I mortgaged mine to pay for a REDUCTION. Ladies? Anybody?
- A new study says that overweight people are less likely to die from HEART ATTACKS. Well of course; being thin and having hella sex can really be a stresser on the ole’ ticker. Right? No? Okay, screw you.
(Image Courtesy: Patrick Hoesly. Creative Commons)