Billie Eilish opened up about the price she paid growing up in the public eye, which she says was a downward spiral of imposter syndrome.
Speaking with BBC, the 20-year-old singer opened up about becoming an overnight sensation at the age of 14, when her song “Ocean Eyes” went viral. “Growing up in the public eye is a very bruising experience, and it’s really hard to develop and change,” the singer said. “I didn’t know what to do so I was grasping at straws.”
“I just had such severe imposter syndrome. I’ve had that so many times in my life,” she continued. Billie said she was swept up in a “downward spiral of imposter syndrome” between 2020 and 2021.
She said what helped her through those moments was gaining more trust from people in the industry. “Being a female at all and especially being a very young female especially in this industry — it’s, like, it’s very hard to make people believe in you,” she divulged.
While Billie admits she understands “to an extent” why she was met with resistance early on, she added, “When I finally had control was a really good moment.”
“I feel the most powerful when I feel masculine … I like to feel more masculine than feminine. It just makes me feel better,” the singer disclosed, adding she initially struggled with those feelings because she “wanted to feel feminine and like it.”
Billie says she now balances both her masculinity and femininity, which she expresses with how she moves and looks. She said being able to exhibit both traits makes her feel good.
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